Blurry

When I take my glasses and contacts off, that's the only time I can see clearly. My eyes hurt because of the prolonged exposure to seeing the "right way", my head begins to ache, and as I look around me, everything is so very blurry. This is exactly how my life is. This is my only true vision. For everything I look at is blurry in so many ways. And when I decide to take my vision correcting materials off, the world deems it necessary to actually show me how desolate, how unknown, how painful it really is. All the headaches, all the tears, the red eyes, that is akin to all the pain finally manifesting itself in its truest forms. And people ask me why I keep my contacts on for so long. I dont care about seeing clearly. I just do not want to see blurry, anymore. But whats the use.
It's like that time when you want to escape and you finally can, but then you are held back from it all by something you want to get rid of forever, but you cannot. It's like taking a knife and plunging it into places where you wish the pain wasn't so real. It's so much like standing on the edge of the Galveston Seawall in the dead of night and waiting for your will to push you. Yea, it's like all that.

Would memories have lit a path for all to see what pain one went through?
Would tear tracks on one's face provoke laughter from everybody else?
Would sunken and empty eyes cause even the most sympathetic of beings to run away?
They would.

"I would close my eyes and spread these wings to fly away.
Fragile as they may be, they will unfurl someday.
And take me far from the hopeless grief."
That's what my mind likes to believe.