Shivers

I think you're wonderful. And even within all this, with these scars and tears, I believe it makes you your own person. I know that it hurts and that you cannot help crying. I know that it hurts and you cannot help feeling lost, broken, alone, and so so so unloved. It happens. No one knows. And it's always the same. It is always going to happen. You cannot hate the ones that deserve it the most because you want to save them. You love the ones that need it the most and they wish it to end and do not even care to see it. It is always going to happen. There is nothing you can do but deal with it and get through it. You're a magnet for these things and it is solely your fault. Even if you try, even if you care, they will NOT. They will NEVER want you happy. They will fail to see what will make it better for you because THEY. DO. NOT. CARE. Fucking deal with it. It is someday going to make you who you will be and it will make the world and everything else be worthless to you. Fucking get used to it. Because it is always going to happen and it will never, never fail to disappoint you, never fail to hurt you, never fail to throw you around, never fail to make you cry. You're a magnet for these things and it is solely your fault. You should be happy. But you will never be happy.