I know being upset won't do anything. I know saying how much I want it won't do anything, either. But nothing has stopped me from not doing all that. And I cannot change anything. As much as I say it is not fair, as much as I realize that it probably will not happen, I still feel the same. And sometimes, I feel so fucking selfish wanting something like this during these times. But I cannot help myself. Solely because of the fact that this was that one thing which was supposed to be mine. And I know that life isn't fair..but I wouldn't be human if I didnt wish otherwise, right? So "One more year and then you'll be free" doesn't mean shit to me..most of you fuckers wouldnt even be able to take a week of this. And that makes me wonder how Ive come thus far.